Ramblings of Jen

Have you ever asked God "why"? For some reason, this year I have become especially curious about how Mary must have reacted when she found out that she'd be giving birth in a barn... with livestock!  Did she ask God, "why"? I don't know what the cultural norm was back then??  Who knows?  Maybe it was typical for a family to bed-down in a stable if the inns were all full?  Maybe women gave birth in stables on a regular basis and it was not a shock to her?  I just don't know.  But I am approaching this post with the idea that it was not in Mary's plan in any way, shape or form to give birth in a barn. I have thought about Christ's birth over and over as we've celebrated Christmas each year and the significance that there is that God chose for His Son to be born in a lowly stable, but never has it dawned on me with such intensity as this year how Mary must've felt about it.  She had just been delivered an amazing message that...

Can I start this post off with a *sigh*?  Haaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh... Aaaarrrrrrrgggg... I just got home from a long, extremely brisk walk with my dog, Sam.  And you know how walks usually tend to relieve that pent-up stress and aggravating emotion from the day?  Well, this walk did not do that.  It was a good walk, and Sam was such a good boy, but I've just got the growls!!!  Arrrrrrrrr!  Anyone want a real-life picture of our family?  Anybody tired of always hearing everyone's good news and "facebook perfect" life?  Well, you've come to the right place.  Tonight I've got to get it all out.  And I'm praying that in the "blah" of everything, God will be able to use it to help someone who might just be going through something similar.  I should be bouncing with excitement and absolute joy because tomorrow is our big day.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is the first visit from our case worker for our adoption home study! ...

This post represents my inner-need to spew what my heart's been feeling all day.  Earlier, I received a message on facebook from an old friend.  I hadn't seen or heard from her since high school (which has been *cough cough* ten years ago now); we hadn't even exchanged messages or comments on facebook since becoming facebook friends...until today. The message from this old friend began with no warm greeting or friendly "hello".  She didn't cushion things with small talk or beating around the bush.  Her message just hammered right in and began reaming me with insults about how ignorant and uneducated I am.  She notified me of how sorry she was for my children that they would be educated by a God-lover and someone so ignorant.  Her final requests were that I stop flooding facebook with my religious ramblings about God and to not pray for her since she has an ivy league diploma, full bank account and excessive happiness.  All of this came after a nearly...

I have to tell you, the road since my last post has not been easy.  Initially, it started out well... Sunday (the day after I wrote my last post) brought confirmations.  We went to church and both Calvin and I experienced a great comfort and confirmation about "getting our hands dirty" in God's work!  Both the main service at church and our Sunday School spoke on acting on God's convictions and overcoming fear !!!  After church, Calvin put his arm around me and said, "Well, I think church was just for us today."  :)  I would have to agree.  It was like the pastor's sermon and our lesson in Sunday School were tailor made for us and what we're going through.  Isn't it amazing how the Spirit works! The following days, however, have been filled with doubt and confusion.  (Big surprise, since that's how Satan always attacks me!  It is always through confusion!)  Ever since I can remember, I have had a sensitive heart for the Lord....

Calvin and I want to ask for your prayers.  If you read my post from yesterday, you know that we've been praying about where God wants us to adopt.  One of the locations was Ethiopia, and the other is from D.R. Congo.  For some reason, I felt the Congo on my heart, but after talking with the project coordinator for Congo at Lifeline Adoption Agency a couple weeks ago and finding out that their Congo program was on hold for the time being and then discovering that many other agencies had put their Congo programs on hold, I thought that maybe God had closed that door. Today, after praying more and not feeling released from pursuing the Congo further, I did an internet search for Christian adoption agencies and looked for agencies that had programs to Congo and after making one phone call, I found that this agency (All Blessings International) has an open program to Congo!  And, not only did I get to speak to a program coordinator, but the Executive Director of the ag...

Fun encounters with my girls today: So, I'm pretty sure I'm raising a couple geniuses!  (And I am NOT one for sure...I had to look up the spelling of "genius"!) This morning while swinging on her swing set in the back yard, Ari looks at me and says, "Mom, two and two make four"...well, that's pretty normal for a five, almost six-year-old.  Then, she says, "And two and two and one are five", and I'm thinking, "Wow, she is putting together three numbers in her head, that's pretty tricky for a kid on her way to first grade!"  Then , she says, "And two and two and two is six".  She continues with, "two and two and two and one is seven and two and two and two and two is eight"!!!!!!!  She was multiplying in her head without counting on fingers, toes or out-loud!  Her kindergarten teacher told me that Ari was excelling in math, but wow!  I'm pretty sure that's not normal addition (multiplication) for ...

It looks as if I need to apologize yet again for my lack of rambling!  It has been nearly two weeks since my last post!  My excuses are as follows: I am working at the preschool/daycare, I also got a second job (occasionally running a photo booth at weddings and events), Calvin has been working 12 to 17 hour days and we are getting ready for my brother's wedding next weekend!  The real reason though for my delinquency has been that we received our adoption home study paperwork and have been diligently pouring over them in our "free-time" and praying about what our next step is.  When we received the home study packet, I can't deny that we were feeling a bit overwhelmed.  Once I got to the bottom of the stack of paperwork, there was a form describing what safety qualifications our home needed to meet in order to adopt.  A few of the major issues with our home is that the kids bedrooms are in the basement, and since we live in a 1930's home, even though it'...

The other day I was praying over our finances...  Well, you know what they say, "Be careful what you pray for"!  When I asked God about five years ago for an opportunity to witness to others about Jesus as a stay-at-home-mom, God gave me Ella and stuck me in the belly of a hospital for 3 1/2 months where I was able to share about His love and amazing peace, joy and hope in the midst of trials!  And now, all of these years later, several lives have come to Christ, due to His amazing provision in our situation...all because of a prayer! Well, this prayer for our finances was more like a plea.  I wasn't sure how in the world we'd pay all of our bills, medical bills , get our groceries and buy the things that the girls need and have adequate money to do it!  Last night, Calvin sat down to pay another lump from our 2 1/2 inch stack of medical bills.  If it weren't for our medical bills, we'd be living pretty comfortably, but with the extra weight on our budget...

I am just in awe tonight as I marvel at God's amazing power and faithfulness in my life!  There are two pieces of news that we received just today that has taken what seems to be a 50 ton weight from our backs!  And God's finger prints are all over the relief! Yesterday my mom, Ariana, Ella and I set out for Salt Lake City to not only check on Ella's hips, but to measure her legs, which have been almost one inch difference in length for the past couple months.  A few months ago (in February) when Ella's surgeon took the metal plate out of Ella's right leg, she noticed the difference in length.  At that time, she said that if the difference grew any more, Ella would need surgery on her growth plate in that leg.  As we drove to Salt Lake yesterday, I honestly believed that Ella's legs had not gotten any closer in lengths and that we'd be discussing surgery once again.  Today, however, when we met with Ella's surgeon, she delivered a different announcemen...

I just have to throw my head back and laugh in thankful disbelief at the way the last week has played out.  Satan keeps throwing us curve balls, forgetting that God already knows where they'll end up!  So, we got Sam, our German Shepherd "pup" (1 yr old), miraculously delivered to our door after the dog catcher had found him roaming our neighborhood streets and had agreed on the phone to meet my dad at our place for no fee at all!  This, on the day that I had my spinal tap to discover whether or not I have MS (Multiple Sclerosis)!  What a blessing and absolute miracle to NOT have to pay to get Sam out of the pound and/or pay a fine on that day in particular!!  God was really looking out for us!  (It was a good try Satan, but you forget Who we have on our side!!  Strike 1!  Romans 8:31 "If God is for us, who can be against us?") The next day, we found ourselves wishing that the Animal Control officer would have taken Sam to the pound and refu...